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a derby food fuddle

we met once more last night, one of our group needed to make up hours after a missed session.  it became a rather lovely reflective process as we met with food to share, it was to be my first derby food fuddle.

as we sat and chatted, listened and ate it struck me how far as a group we'd come.  brought together to explore music for well being we had become a supportive cohesive little group.  this was further reinforced when the local bluesky project co-ordinator joined us to hear for herself our stories and experiences.

in preparing for the fuddle i wasn't entirely sure what to take.  i saw that my choices were ok and this felt good.

while we ate our tutor talked of an opportunity emerging for us to potentially meet again under a slightly different banner to provide music for an opening of a regenerative project happening in the city.  he looked at me and asked if i'd be up for that.  i felt confident to say i think i would as i've become confident with those around me.  potentially i might be playing in a musical performance, in public, in june.  this is something i would have never thought possible.  the bluesky project has made somewhere safe and nurturing for me to potentially go onto to do something as a result.  now that's something i hadn't ever imagined possible.

at the beginning of this journey i talked about my forest school for men idea.  this hasn't moved on very much yet from being an idea and i've begun to ask myself why.  i don't think there's one simple reason.

it's more likely to be down to barriers that i've either created myself or had created around me.  

i'm still learning that i don't need to be hard on myself about my lack of confidence in certain areas and the barriers i create for myself because of it can be taken down.

i have a small holiday break coming up soon and after it i think i'm going to attempt to outline on this blog where my thinking of how to develop the idea has got to.  i'm open to the idea of co-producing the idea and seeing how others might be able to develop the idea in their location. 


and finally ... music for me is an important aspect of my life, there's some form of it to compliment, add, enhance and generally lift me.  i shared with the group last night something of the experience of being a laser operator at raves.  the time spent listening and interpretaing was one i really enjoyed and would dearly love to somehow return to that feeling.  this week i've been listening to some old school music from the mid 90's and loving the uplifting feeling it produces as i access and tap into the memories of those long evenings ...