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Mental health and wellbeing journeys/stories

mechanics of expectation

in the recent post about the celebration event i attended i spoke of myself relative to the musical performance.  since publishing the post i've been thinking about the mechancis of expectation of words i find myself encountering.

in the post i swerve around the word musician.  i swerve it as it conjurs up an expectation - in me at least.  i can;t say for sure where this comes from although i could make an informed guess of historical influence from an early age.

so exploring my expecation of the word musician i find that the range is small - at least i thnk it is.  

its ok to like myself.

i'm in reflective mood today after being at the bluesky celebration event of the centre where i've been a learner.  i took a personal situation into the space on friday, hidden from view.  as  i listened to stories of others on the programme the tears helped me to work through the hidden situation.

Learn to Grow - reflections of a tutor

As the project draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting on our Learn to Grow programme, developments and lessons learned, and also on my own personal journey as a tutor and co-ordinator.

positive visualisation

about a month a go i started a part time position within a project that i've been connectd with for about a year.  in conversation yesterday while reviewing and reflecting upon a recent session i found myself discussing how within my own practice i've been reviewing how i use visualisation to help me in new situations.

it's only recently i've been aware of how i use visualisation, even though i knew i was making mental preparations for things yet to come.

i'm crossing my fingers

my phone vibrates and i'm distracted from pondering what to write for this blog post.  there's a need to record and reflect about what i've done lately and still i have no clear starting point.

i think how i felt at the very beginning of my journey through the research project.  as i continued to grow and gain confidence the no clear starting point became a faint thought and i grew in confidence as i met with and got to know those on the course and those delivering and administering it.

last friday my journey reached a station as a result of making the journey itself.

all around me

outside this morning is the sound of a petrol driven hedge clipper, neatening up the hedge over the road from where i currently sit.  my back is to the window, a technique i've recently adopted to reduce the amount of distraction i allow for myself.  instead i look into the room.  tantalisingly my cup of tea is a short walk away.  i've sat to write a blog post and i'm negotiating how to begin my writing.

the tea was cool and easy to drink.  

recording what seems like progress

within my journey to a grounded, centred, happier place i know i have often written about the difficulties and issues that make life difficult and make me unhappy.  today i am pleased to be sitting down to record the small things of late that have been feeding into me feeling happier.

i think the recent improvements began as a result of watching the mind over marathon programmes.  in a section of the programme,  the coaches talked to the runners about visualising the finish of their marathon.

reflecting after session

the sun is out, i have a cup of tea and biscuit, we've been out in the wood and i feel happy about how it went.  time to reflect about the session to record it and any new thoughts at this time.

my plan to have no plan went well.  two of the group said they are used to being well planned and they both reflected how they had relaxed when coming into the session today because they know i'd be taking care of things.

planning

later today we're going into a wood and exploring a forest bathing inspired walk.  this morning i have a little bit of pre-walk nerves.  i've fixed the broadband, emptied the dishwasher and waiting for coffee to brew.  i need something to do to keep my nerves focussed and in check ... time to write a blog post about the planing i've done for this afternoon.

small steps

i'm continuing to make small steps as i journey through my grief over maybe.  earlier this week there were days where i experienced the depression.  i'm pleased to say today  i'm now experiencing the up turn and i'm starting to feel optimistic again.

yesterday was a really good day.  an evening event for an ongoing work project was preceeded by catching up with a friend who is a supporter of the forest school for men idea.

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